6 Ways to Reconnect with Your Dog
Here is an understatement: Dogs are a lot of work. They are an investment of our energy, our time, and our finances. And sometimes – let’s be honest – it might not feel like the benefits they bring outweigh the costs. Like when you’ve just taken your dog for a long walk and return home and she pees in the house within minutes. Or when you want to take her along in the car and she’s so excited that she jumps all over the car and scratches the paint before you can even get the door open. Sometimes, just like with kids, being responsible for the health and happiness of another living being, and ensuring they don’t wreak havoc on the household, can feel like a lot of work. It’s ok to admit it.
Dog sitting on passenger seat of red car with door open, looking eager. Photo by @jaywennington.
We, like so many others, adopted a dog during COVID. Our lives had simplified, our girls had gotten a bit older, and we were ready to bring a dog into our lives again. It had been a few years since we said goodbye to our old dog, Eddie. We knew it would be work, especially with two children, but we thought everyone was ready. I looked forward to the snuggles, the fun challenge of training, and the company on my runs. I admit, in hindsight, I was not mentally prepared for the amount of energy I was about to start investing.
Now, about six months after adopting Barley, I’ve thought of some strategies that help keep the scale tipping positive. A helpful catalog of ways to reconnect with your dog when she or he is driving you to your wit’s end. What follows is a list of ways to reconnect with your dog, so that you can spend less time second-guessing your decision to care for another dependent being, and more time enjoying your dog.
Close up of our dog Barley resting on the floor with person sitting nearby. Photo by K. A. Cronin.
1. Sit on the floor and pet him, or just let your arm rest on his fur.
One reason we (humans) enjoy our pets is that they satisfy our desire for companionship and social bonding. Activating close social connections releases neurotransmitters in our brains and hormones in our bodies that make us feel good. For example, holding hands with your romantic partner or snuggling with your child releases oxytocin in the body, the so-called “love hormone” that makes use feel good and want more. Calm physical with your dog may also lead to a release of natural chemicals that help you feel positive and connected to him. Now, if he’s stepping all over you or jabbing his nose in your face, move on to another idea.
2. Do some training.
Pick some behavior – anything – and work together to train your dog with positive reinforcement. Your dog will be attending to you. His eyes will be on your face and you’ll watch him learn. It’s a chance for social connection, a bit of pride in his accomplishments, and fun. Pick something easy though. This is not a time to take on a new challenge. And stay positive with your dog; positive training is associated with better moods in dogs as well.
Black dog running toward camera with a stick in mouth, looking joyful. Photo by @adventure_yuki.
3. Play fetch.
If your dog is a flight risk, use a long leash and let it drag (I’m talking 30 feet or more). Toss a ball, watch him frolic and show his doggy cuteness. If he’s not into fetch, don’t get frustrated. Play tug or just toss some treats out for him to find, one by one. He’ll attend to you then do his doggy thing, reminding you (hopefully) of the cute pup he can be.
4. Take a break from each other.
Use absence to make the heart grow fonder. It works for our human relationships, and may work in your relationship with your dog, too. If your dog is already crate trained and finds it to be a positive place (you’ll know this because he sometimes hangs out there voluntarily), then take a bit of time apart – just 20 min or so – and you may appreciate him more when you’re reunited.
Muddy dog paws and (my) muddy running shoes on brick driveway. Photo by K. A. Cronin.
5. Go for a run together.
If he is a jerk on a leash or you hate running, this one’s not for you. But if both those things aren’t true – go get your endorphins flowing and let those endogenous opioids (yes, natural drugs) help you see that pup next to you through new eyes. You’ll also end up with a tired dog, which can only help!
6. Send him to daycare.
This one has the benefit of the separation and reunion effect, the tired dog effect, and the added bonus that someone else will probably tell you how cute, sweet or funny they think your dog is when you’re reunited. An outside reminder of how lucky you are to have this special dog in your life can go a long way.
I’d love to hear any tricks you have for reconnecting! (I may need them.) Subscribe below to receive an email when a new blog is posted, and please share with others who may benefit from some reconnection with their pups!
